The Big Scabby Apple

What to say about our recent trip to NYC? The following is our NYC Update At-A-Glance, for those of you strapped for time and energy. (Namely, myself.)

Sights We Saw:
1. Brooklyn
2. Chinatown
3. Central Park
4. Eighth Church of Christ, Scientist
5. Museum of Natural History
6. The Subway System
7. A drunken man
8. New Jersey
9. The Atlantic Ocean
10. Times Square
11. The Angel Moroni on 66th St.
12. Grand Central Station
13. Sbarro

Experiences We Experienced:
1. Being, apparently, the only white people in all of Brooklyn.
2. Wishing we were dead, or in other words, hauling a stroller, a baby, and luggage for two adults and one baby, up and down flight after flight of nasty subway staircases.
3. Figuring out that the reason they keep the lights in the Natural History Museum so low is because of a serious dust problem.
4. Eating dirt in Central Park. (Mae relished in this experience exclusively.)
5. Fishing a cigarette butt out of Mae's mouth in Central Park. (Every mom's worst nightmare
realized.)
6. Undergoing a mysterious resurrection at the beach.
7. Witnessing a drunk man fluent in both English and Sign Language professing his love to a woman doing a cross word puzzle on the bus.
8. The Lion King on Broadway! (Amazing, guys.
Really.)
9. One Rolex watch (fake) $30
10. Pinpointing the stench at Times Square as a combination of raw sewage, garbage seepage, urine, B.O., cigarette smoke, and imitation perfumes.
11. How crying will improve customer service by about 95%.
12. How granola bars get very old when you eat a steady diet of them.
13. How one milk addicted, sleep deprived 13 month old can VERY nearly ruin a vacation.
14. Noticing how the staff of a Jamba Juice is
fairly universal: teenage girls, with the token lurpy, gay boy.
15. Navigating the subway system without getting lost once. (Thank you, thank you)
16. Stepping in every freshly discarded wad of chewing gum from Far Rockaway to 81st St.
17. Noticing how Obama crazed NY is. He is a pop icon. His face is on glittery T-shirts and
handbags. Obama is Hannah Montana, pretty much.
18. Peeing in NY public restrooms about every five minutes... and wishing I was dead.

Lessons We Learned :
1. If you are in a wheelchair, or have a stroller, do not take up a residency in Manhattan.
2. An airplane is the last place you want to be if you are even remotely pregnant.
3. Milk goes bad.
4. Do not EVER travel without photo ID. Unless you aren't particular about catching flights, and don't mind being treated like a criminal.
5. A true friend is one who will volunteer to babysit your child while you spend a romantic and strollerless day in the city. (Thank you Aundi.)
6. It is worth it to take lots of pictures, even if you feel touristy.
7. Never sacrifice comfort for fashion. Never.
8. Cheap diapers are a waste of money.
9. Having a baby on the subway breaks down awkward barriers like magic.















































































The truth is, we had a marvelous time. But we'll be recovering for the next month, so don't be surprised if we are still NYZ's (New York Zombies.)